My Speech

Do you think your day was hard today? It wasn’t compared to mine. Do you have to watch out for a killer comb? Dodge the worst smelling shampoo ever? Spend your day clinging for your life to strands of hair pulled back in a ponytail or shoved under a smelly beanie? I don’t think so! My name is Nigel the Nit or as the scientist called me Nigel the head louse. Today I am going to tell you all about a hard day in the life of a nit.

But before I tell you about my day, let me give you some facts about me. I was born in a waterproof egg, stuck to some long brown hair. I hatched about 10 days later and was an instant orphan (feel sorry for me yet?) then began to explore my new home (a bite here, a scratch there). Before I became the handsome nit, I was a nymph for about 12 days. In a human world that would be a terrible teanager, lazy and sleeping all day. Another name for me is an Ova, spelt o-v-a.

And now let me tell you about a hard day in my life. Its starts when my home is rudely awaken by her mother. Wake up Carolyn, time for school… who wants to go to school? Then I hop out of my bed which is a nest I have made in her hair, you call them knots, and get some breakfast (that's a bit of blood, your yummy blood!) So far ok start to the day but from here it gets bad.

First I am pulled into a tight ponytail and can’t really move. Not fun! On the way to school I am thrown around as we run for the bus and now I feel dizzy and my breakfast of blood is making me feel sick. At school I have to listen to a boring teacher called Miss Green talking about maths. So boring!  How do humans do this for 18 years of their lives?

After lunch I nearly decided to move house as it's hard to sleep in  Carolyns hair, she talks too much, by swinging across into a boys hair in the class but I can't get close enough. I have to stay where I am. Yay, time for home.

Next I can sense something wrong is going to happen. Oh I know what! I can smell the awful shampoo! Ahhhhhhh, let's run away from here. I hope I can save myself. Oh no, I can see the killer comb now, It looks like a big bull doser! Thats right it was a shower with Nit killing shampoo.

Luckily I am a hard bug to kill. I try to hid behind her ears but the comb finds me and I am combed out. Arrrggghhhh. Cough, cough, I’m about to dieeeeeeeee! Yep, thats right my day was hard because at the end I died.  So the next time you complain about how hard it is to be a kid, remember, it could be worse you could be a nit.